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Loving Noel (Wildcat Graduates Book 1) Page 17
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We’re almost to the library when I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. “Why is Blain always hugging you and hanging around all the time? He didn’t hang around us that much before we started dating. Why now?” I look over at her when I stop at the red light.
“He’s one of my best friends. He’s like another brother to me that’s why he hugs me a lot. I’ve not noticed him hanging around more. What are you getting at, Noel?” She turns in her seat to frown at me as I advance through the green light.
“You two may have been friends for a very long time, but I’m telling you that now he sees you as more than a friend. He wants to be more than friends with you, I’m sure of it. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you when Stacy and Jaxson were arguing. And when he went to leave he kept looking back at you. I’m telling you he likes you.”
“I honestly don’t see him doing that stuff, but I can promise you that it doesn’t matter to me. It’s you that I am in love with, not Blain. If I can believe that you don’t have any feelings for Lay-Me, can’t you believe that I don’t have any feelings for him other than friendship. It’s only you I see. When I see other guys, I think about you and no one else.” I look into his beautiful green eyes, pleading with him to believe me. He pulls into the parking lot and parks the car.
Noel turns to face me and clutches my hands in his. “I believe you don’t have any feelings for him, but I can’t trust that he doesn’t have any for you. It drives me mad when he touches and holds onto you. No one should do that but me. If he didn’t have feelings for you, he wouldn’t do that. Especially with your boyfriend right there.”
“I see your point, because that’s how Mercedes makes me feel when she hangs onto you while I’m right beside you. Can we just move past this and trust each other enough to not let them get to us?” Xana leans over the console and places her forehead against mine.
“I trust you, and I’ll do my best to not let him get to me. But if he ever crosses the line, that might change.”
“Okay,” she says softly.
I look over at the clock and notice that we are a little early in arriving at the library. I don’t like leaving Xana there all alone, so we sit in the car until someone shows up. It’s so easy to be with her. We talk about so many things when we are alone. She lets her guard down completely when it is just the two of us. I love her like that. Xana is very compassionate, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. She always sees the good in people. Even when they take advantage of her, she doesn’t see it. She’s just that giving, always wanting to help them any way she can. It’s my job to make sure no one hurts her.
“You really don’t have to wait here with me, Noe. Blain and Jaxson should be here in about ten minutes. I know you have to do things for your dad. I can wait inside.” I lean over the console and place two fingers on her lips, stopping her from saying anything more.
“Stop, I’m not leaving you alone. End of. Besides, I can think of a few things we can do while we wait.” I slide my fingers from her lips, moving my hand to cup her face. Her eyes move to my lips, as I lean in to kiss those pouty lips of hers. Man, how I love her mouth. Xana opens for me immediately and leans toward me, closing the gap between us. My free hand moves to grab her waist, holding her in place.
Our tongues tangle in a well-practiced dance, moving together as one. No matter how many times we kiss, it’s always like the first time. I can feel her breathing increase on my cheek as our kiss becomes more desperate. Xana releases a quiet moan as I pull her bottom lip between my teeth and move down her neck, placing kisses along the way. Her teeth find my earlobe as her hands take hold in my hair. She places her lips around my earlobe, kissing it like it was my mouth. The sensation overwhelms me, and I find myself groaning as I pull the skin over her collarbone into my mouth and suck, hard. My hand at her waist moves upward between her hoodie and white t-shirt, my thumb brushing the bottom of her breast. Xana moans once more and presses her breast into my hand even more. I can feel her shiver as my mouth moves back to hers, my hand pulling her head into mine. Her hands move from my hair to my neck as she slows down our kiss, each of us breathing heavily. As our heartbeats begin to slow, we pull apart, leaving only our foreheads touching. My thumb brushes her breast one last time, as my hand falls back to her waist.
“God, Xan, I could kiss you forever,” I tell her as we look into each other’s eyes, our breaths slowly getting back to normal. The look on her face mirrors everything I am feeling. She was just as lost in our kiss as I was. Smiling, I place another soft kiss on her lips and ask, “Wasn’t that better than waiting inside alone?”
Xana shivers and smiles as she rubs her nose along mine. “Much better, but I didn’t want to stop,” she begins to pout, and it takes everything I have in me not to finish what we started. We haven’t gone that far yet, but I know we’re both about to give in. We don’t believe in random sex, and I don’t want that with her. It’s just not the right time for us to do anything more. Our connection is so strong, more than I had ever imagined it would be, but I’m not sure how much longer we can both wait.
“Believe me, I know, Sweetness, but you have to go finish your project. I just saw Blain and Jaxson drive up, and this is not the place to finish what we started,” I tell her as I pull away from her, trying to get my breathing under control. Looking at her flushed face, I tuck a strand of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. Xana smiles and leans into my hand. “Now, go work on your project, and call me when you get finished. Do you want me to pick you up?”
“We’re going to be here for a while so we can get everything finished. That way we don’t have to worry about trying to get everyone together again. Andi said she’d give me a ride home, so you don’t have to worry about picking me up.” Xana smiles at me, and my breath catches. She’s so beautiful. Her pale ivory skin and those beautiful blue eyes of hers, framed in those curls make her look like an angel. My angel. How did I ever get so lucky to have her as a girlfriend?
“You know I’ll worry about you whether I pick you up or not, right? Do we have to discuss me picking you up again? I thought we had this settled already.”
“I know, but sometimes I just feel like I’m keeping you from other things. I just want you to know I don’t expect you to drive me everywhere,” Xana explains as she looks down at our intertwined fingers.
“Baby, I know you don’t expect anything from me. I understand why you don’t drive on your own that much, but you have to know by now that I do it because I want to do it. End of. Now, give me a kiss and go meet your friends.” We lean over the console and kiss each other thoroughly before Xana gets out of the car. Just before she walks through the door, she looks over her shoulder and blows me a kiss. I watch to make sure she gets inside before I pull out of the parking lot, and I have to readjust my pants before I can drive away. She always has this effect on me.
I was almost done with the list of things Dad needed me to do when Xana called to tell me Blain was going to take her home. Andi got sick right before they finished and Jaxson drove her home in her car. I still had a few things to take care of before I could pick her up. Since it was getting late, I had no choice but to go along with her riding home with Blain. She said she knew I’d want to know what was going on so that I could trust her, but it’s not her I’m worried about.
We were almost through with our project when Andi threw up. She didn’t feel well when she got there but she didn’t think it was anything other than the allergy medicine she took after lunch. She just got sicker the longer we worked. I’m actually kind of surprised she made it to the bathroom.
Blain and I gathered up their things, while Jax took her home. I called Noel to let him know about the change of plans so he wouldn’t think I was keeping it from him. I understand his concerns, but he couldn’t be more wrong about Blain’s feelings for me. It will just take time to prove it to him. I can do that.
I’m dropped off first, and Blain walks me to the door like he always does when he walks m
e home from his house down the street. Mom and Dad are already home so I don’t bother digging my keys out of my purse, and am about to open the door when Blain stops me. He takes my arm and turns me to face him.
“Xana, we’ve known each other for a long time, and have always been very close.” His voice is softer than normal and it makes me very uneasy. Where is he going with this?
“Yeah,” I reply slowly.
“I really like you, Xana, and I know you like me, too.” I’m not exactly sure why, but alarm bells start ringing in my head when he tells me that.
“Of course, I do, Blain,” I reply slowly. “You’re like family to me.” Please let this stop him from saying anything else. Noel can’t be right about this. He just can’t.
Blain leans in closer to my face and I instinctively lean my head backward and away from his. That only makes him take hold of my arms so I can’t move away any more. “We have a connection that is stronger than just being friends, Xana. I know you feel it too. that’s why it’s so easy to be around each other.”
He leans forward and presses his lips to mine before I can respond to his words. I can’t push him away because my hands are full and he is still holding my arms in place. The only thing I can think of doing is to shake my head away from his kiss so he will stop. This finally has him breaking the kiss and stepping back from me.
“I think you should leave.” Blain tries to speak, but I keep him from saying anything. “No. Don’t say anything. We’re only friends and there can never be anything more between us. I don’t see you that way and I never will. You’re a great guy, but you’re more like a brother to me than anything else. So just stop right now and go home. I’m not mad, but this ends now, so please just go home.” I turn and enter the house as quickly as I can, placing my backpack on the floor beside the entryway table. Just as I am about to shut the front door, I can see Noel’s car parked along the sidewalk in the front yard. Oh, what did he just see?
It takes a few minutes before Noel comes to the door and I sit with him on the front porch swing. I can’t really read the expression on his face, and the thoughts flying through my mind about what Blain just did doesn’t help matters any.
“I brought a book you left in my car. Thought you might need it tonight.” Noel hands me the psychology book and I place it in my lap.
“Thanks, I do have homework to do,” I smile at him, not sure what to say next. He looks so serious.
“Can I tell you something and you won’t get mad at me,” I ask, praying that he won’t blame me for what happened.
“Is it about why you just rushed into your house like it was on fire,” he asks, shifting in the swing to face me better.
“Yes.” I pause, trying to decide how to start. “Well, Blain brought me home from the library, like I told you, but when we got here… He walked me to the door and when I tried to go inside, he stopped me,” I tell him and look at his face.
“Okay,” he says slowly. Now, I can see he’s clearly trying to stay calm.
“He started talking about stuff and, well, basically you were right,” I tell him and look down at the book in my lap. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t know he felt that way.” I can’t stop the tears from forming in my eyes, no matter what I try. I’m so confused about what happened and what this means for us from now on. “I tried to stop him, but he kissed me,” I confess so quietly I’m not sure he can hear me. I don’t want to hear me.
Noel stays quiet for what seems like hours and I can’t keep the tears at bay any longer. Everything is so messed up I don’t know what to do. My best friend tried to kiss me, and now Noel isn’t speaking to me. Why is this happening?
Noel places two fingers under my chin and raises my head up to face him, but I can’t look him in the eyes. He takes his fingers and wipes away the tears falling down my face. “Shhh, baby. Look at me,” he demands, his voice gentle but firm. I raise my eyes to look into his. My lip trembles and I hold it between my teeth to make it stop. He takes his thumb and pulls it from my teeth.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I know that, okay?” He brushes the hair away from my face so I can’t hide behind it anymore.
“You do? You believe me?” More tears start to fall, and I shut my eyes in an attempt to stop the flow.
“Yes, I believe you. He’s the one I have a problem with. A big problem. He shouldn’t have put you in that position without your permission, especially by kissing you without asking. I’m sorry I was right. I really did want to be wrong about it for your sake. I know how much his friendship means to you.” He places a kiss on my nose. “Even if it does drive me nuts,” he laughs trying to lighten the mood.
I laugh a little and try to smile at his joke. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“I know. I love you, too, but I think you need to stay away from Blain as much as possible for a while, alright? I think he needs some distance from you so he can figure out that you’re mine and that isn’t going to change.” He places his fingers on my lips to keep me from interrupting him.
“I know you have school things you have to work on together, but other than that, I need you to promise me that you’ll keep your distance from him as much as you can. I don’t think I could handle it if something like this happened again. Do you understand?”
Nodding my head I tell him, “I understand. I do need some space from him. I just didn’t see it coming and have no idea how I feel about all of it. Thank you for believing me. I was so afraid you’d blame me for what he did.”
Noel takes the book away from me and pulls me into his lap, hugging me tightly. I bury my face in his chest, my hands clutched around his waist. We sit like that for a long time, just holding each other. My mom heard me come inside and eventually comes to check on me.
“Oh, there you are, Xana. I knew I heard you come in earlier. Hello, Noel. Do you want to stay for dinner? We have plenty.” Mom smiles at Noel and he looks at me. I grin and nod my head in return.
“I’d love to, Mrs. Bradford. Thank you,” Noel tells Mom and she walks back inside.
Noel places a kiss on my lips and we both stand up from the swing. “Let me call Mom and tell her I’m eating here and we can go inside, okay?” he asks as he takes his phone out of his pocket. I pick up my textbook while I wait for his call to be over. Seeing me watch him, he takes my hand and pulls me to his side.
Noel puts the phone back in his pocket and brings me into his arms. “Things are going to be just fine, Sweetness. We’ll be fine.” I nod in agreement and he cradles my head in his hands.
“Now let’s go let your mom feed me. I think I smell her famous chocolate cake.” Noel grabs my hand and I giggle as we walk inside, knowing that together we can get through anything that comes our way.
We were required to be at the band hall, ready to leave, by seven thirty this morning for a marching contest in Shreveport, Louisiana. Our performance time isn’t until twelve thirty, but Mr. Scott likes to get us there a few hours early so we have time to watch a few of the other bands march before we have to warm up and run our own program.
Since we had to get up so early this morning, too early for a Saturday, I spent the night over at Stacy’s house which is close to the high school. We stayed out kind of late last night with Noel and Cade, and we are both fairly tired this morning. Fortunately, it’s a long enough drive to Shreveport, roughly two hours, so we can finish sleeping on the bus.
By the time Stacy and I arrive at the school, Cade and Noel have already picked out our seats at the back of the bus we signed up for. Jason’s mom is our parental chaperone for the trip this time, and everyone rushed to sign up for the bus she was on because she is a really cool chaperone. She’s easy going and lets us have fun, as long as we aren’t disturbing the bus driver with our music or voices.
Cade and Noel help us load our things onto the bus and we go ahead and take our seats and wait for attendance to be taken. Noel takes his place by the window in our seat and holds the light purple and cream plai
d blanket I brought. I can see the knowing look in his eyes, and know it mirrors my own. Sliding into the seat beside him, I snuggle into his side as he spreads the blanket over us. His arm wraps around my shoulders, holding me firmly against him. I lay my head against his chest and put my arms around his waist, content to be right where I am.
After roll is taken and everyone is accounted for, most of the members settle in and go back to sleep. Only a few people are still up talking and listening to music. They’re singing along to the songs and laughing at jokes, but for the most part, the bus is relatively calm. It doesn’t take long before I am asleep on Noel’s chest, my legs draped across his with his left hand holding them in place.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep when the bus hits a hole in the road and jolts me from my dreams. I run my hand along Noel’s waist, tracing the well-defined abs that lie underneath his t-shirt. As my hand reaches the neckline of the shirt, I can feel him start to wake up, his body flexing under my touch. I lower my hand back down his chest and circle his nipple through his clothes with my index finger. Noel’s free hand leaves my legs and moves up to clutch my wrist, halting my exploration of his body.
“Good morning to you, too, Sweetness.” Noel kisses the top of my head and places our joined hands flat against his heart.
Smiling, I lift my head up to his and place a kiss on his chin. “Good morning, Handsome.”
He smiles back at me and leans down to place his lips over mine. His hand grabs my hip and pulls me closer before sliding up my side and coming to a stop with his palm on my breast. Leaning into his touch, I drag my tongue across his bottom lip and suck it into my mouth. This causes Noel to squeeze my breast a little harder, and I move my hand to cup his cheek and pull his mouth into mine a little harder.