Claiming Xana (Wildcat Graduates Book 2) Read online

  “That’s good. I was worried about you driving back tonight,” I say while we drive back to campus.

  We ride in silence, only the radio filling the car with noise, Jeff’s hand is rubbing up and down my leg, moving a little further under my skirt with each pass. Glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, I can see the outline of his dick in his pants, clearly not there before, and know he’s getting more turned on with each stroke he takes along my thigh. I can’t deny it’s effecting me a little, too.

  Pulling into the back parking lot of my dorm, Jeff parks the car away from the others, and turns it off. After removing his seatbelt, he places one arm around my shoulders and the other begins stroking my thigh. Leaning closer to one another, we close the gap between us, our mouths joining in an intense kiss.

  I open for him immediately, my tongue stroking his, as my hands move to rest on his chest. After unbuckling my seatbelt, his hand slides further up my skirt, and I feel my legs moving apart on their own accord. His fingers brush against my satin covered core and my breathing increases as tingles quickly form where he is touching me. Must be the alcohol.

  Jeff pulls away from my mouth and says, “You taste better than last time.” He drags my bottom lip through his teeth, biting down at the last second. His fingers continue working their way along my underwear, getting me wetter with every increasing stroke. I am unable to prevent a small moan from escaping as he presses against my clit. With that, Jeff shifts position and pulls me to sit on the console between the seats, his body curled around mine.

  His hand moves under my shirt, and I hold onto his head to keep my balance while he reaches behind me to unhook my bra, freeing my breasts for his explorations. Running kisses along my jaw, he makes his way to my neck before pulling my shirt and bra above my chest. Sucking one nipple into his mouth, he slides his free hand back under my skirt, causing me to pull his hair sharply as my legs tense.

  His fingers push aside my panties and run along my opening. My mind is battling against my body as my thighs squeeze together to stop his hand, while mine pull his face further into my chest. He takes one of my hands and moves it to cup his hardened cock through his jeans, and my heart nearly stops. There is no question both of our bodies are ready to go further, but I just can’t. We’ve made out like this before, but something just feels wrong now.

  Jeff moves to give the other nipple equal attention and says, in a throaty voice, “I’ve missed you so much. I need to be in you, baby.” He sucks hard on my nipple, causing me to try and pull his head away from me. “Let me show you just how much, please.”

  He begins to rub my hand more firmly against his hardened cock and moans into my ear. Alarm bells go off in my head and I quickly remove my hand from his hardness and pull away from him in order to create some space between us, my shirt and bra falling down over my breasts. Our breathing is erratic and I can feel my heart running a marathon in my chest.

  “Why are you stopping? Let me feel you around my cock. You’ve made it so hard for you,” he says, putting my hand back over him to remind me just how hard he is.

  “Jeff, no. We’re in the parking lot of my dorm,” I protest as my breathing slowly returns to normal.

  “Let me take you somewhere else, then. I can feel how much you want me, too.” He runs his palm up my thigh until he’s stroking my damp underwear again.

  “We can’t. I…It’s late and we’re in a parking lot,” I mumble, slowly moving into my own seat, and straightening up my clothes.

  Jeff releases a frustrated sigh and shifts to adjust his pants before looking at me. “You’re still not ready, are you?” he asks accusingly.

  Confused and ashamed of my emotions at this moment, I lower my head and pick at my fingernails. I can’t even think where to begin explaining it all to him, and from the look on his face, I’m not sure he really wants my answer.

  “Is it him?” Jeff’s question shocks me and I snap my head up in his direction, my mouth hanging wide open.

  “Who are you talking about?” I ask, still unable to understand what he’s referring to.

  “Him. Noel. Are you thinking about him? Do you want to be with him instead of me, now that he’s here?” he asks, lashing out at me with what seems like disgust. What the hell has gotten into him?

  “You can’t be serious,” I shout at him, turning to face him. “NO, I wasn’t thinking about him. What the hell, Jeff?” Crossing my arms, I stare at him, wishing he’d just shut his damn mouth and let me go.

  “I’m sorry, Alexandra. I’ve just missed you so much. All the time we used to spend together with friends, and alone with each other.” He reaches over and caresses my cheek with his palm, and I relax into his touch. “I know you want to wait a little longer, but I feel like I’m dying here, baby.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. A lot. But, I’m really not sure we’re ready for that part just yet. You’re not here very often, and we don’t get to see each other much at all. I don’t want the times we’re together to be about sex. I’m not ready for that, yet,” I say quietly, pleading with him to understand.

  He leans his head against mine, holding my cheek to keep me in place. Releasing another long breath he says, “I know you aren’t. It’s just so hard to stop myself with you. You drive me crazy, baby.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.” Closing my eyes I lower my head toward my lap.

  “Okay. How about we get you inside,” he says, releasing a frustrated breath. I nod and he moves out of the car to walk me to the dorm.

  Stopping in front of the doors, he pulls me into a hug and speaks into my ear, “I love you. You know that, right,” he asks then places a kiss on my cheek. Nodding my head, I acknowledge I do know, and he kisses me gently before unlocking the door with my keys.

  Ushering me through the door he says, ”I’ll call you later and we’ll go to lunch before I leave.”

  “Okay,” I confirm, and make my way to my room.

  I feel too wired to worry about a shower, so I settle on washing my face and brushing my teeth instead. Clad in pajama shorts and a shirt, I climb into bed, my mind filled with too many thoughts to focus on just one. The more I try to figure things out, the more exhausted I become. Trying to understand why I’ve suddenly become apprehensive of Jeff’s touch, and why those girls were talking about me the way they were...has made me such an emotional mess, all I want to do is sleep my way through it.

  Luckily, a few deep breaths is all I need to fall into oblivion until my body decides to wake me.

  This semester is a lot different from last year. I’m taking a lot more classes related to my accounting major than last year, which means more math, and after two months of it, it’s exhausting. Thank coconuts I’ve signed up for private French horn lessons as an elective credit to help my course load. It’s at least one class I won’t have to study for. I need help in any form I can get it. It’s a nice way to get out of my head and concentrate on the music.

  Jeff has been up to see me a handful of times on the weekends. He can never stay for very long because of his hectic work schedule at the restaurant, but we make it work as much as we can. He’s really trying to learn as much as he can to help his father out. It’s not like he can change his schedule for me.

  Sometimes, I am a little jealous of the relationships my friends have. I’ve had that before, and it was beautiful. But, some things aren’t meant to be, and we have to move on. Jeff and I have a good relationship, but the distance between us, physical and emotional, is beginning to take its toll. We didn’t see each other much at all this summer because he was working all the time.

  Now, he tries his best to call me a few times a week when he has some down time. I’ve called him a few times late at night, before I go to sleep, but he is always busy. I can always hear voices and sometimes dishes in the background. I just let him call me, instead. The restaurant must be doing really well to keep him so busy.

  Stacy spends a lot of time with Cade and Noel at their dorm, so I
have ample quiet time to study. Lord knows I need all the studying I can get. When Cade and Noel come over to see Stacy, I usually head for the library to study with two girls from my Microeconomics class, Nichole and Jen. We work really well together, and it helps keep my mind off Noel. Well, sometimes it helps, unlike now. The angry words Jeff threw at me that night after the party still run through my mind, and they only make more confused. Why does being with him feel so wrong, now?

  Unfortunately, Nichole and Jen have Biology lab late this afternoon, so I’m sitting alone at our table in the library, thinking about how hot Noel looked when they came over to our room. They tried to get me to stay, but I know if I would have, it would only make things harder for me. He’s been coming to the room more often lately, and hanging around in general. Last year, I was able to push thoughts of him to the back of my mind and pretend I no longer had feelings for him because he wasn’t here, but now that he is? It feels like everything is being ripped from me all over again. I have no one here with me, and sometimes wish I could go back to when we were still together. Being surrounded by the wonderful relationships of my friends makes me more aware of that fact. Painfully so.

  Tired of sitting in the stuffy library, I pack up my things and relocate to the duck pond on campus. It’s not far from the band hall or my dorm, so I can stay there for awhile before it gets too dark and soak up the fresh air.

  I get settled under the shadiest tree and watch the ducks swimming back and forth across the pond. Forty-five minutes pass and I decide to call Blain for a few minutes. We’ve mended our friendship and are almost as close as we were before things got all messed up. He always knows what to say.

  It only takes three rings before Blain answers, “Hey, Shortcake! What’s going on?” he asks me, a little too cheerily. It makes me laugh.

  “What’s got you so happy over there?” I giggle again at the thought of what he must be doing.

  “Just got back from a run and my Shortcake called me. What could be better than that?” I can hear the laughter in his voice, and it makes me smile.

  “Running always did get you in a better mood. You’re weird that way,” I tell him and shake my head.

  “Maybe, but you’re weirder than me, remember?”

  “Maybe,” I sigh and close my eyes. Blain apparently hears something in my voice, because his tone changes from joking and laughing to serious.

  “What’s going on, Xana? Talk to me,” he demands. I don’t have to see him to know he’s glaring at me over the phone.

  Sighing, I gather my thoughts before speaking, but he doesn’t wait long enough for me to answer. “It’s him, isn’t it? Noel.”

  “Yeah,” I say quietly into the phone.

  “Has he done anything to you?” Blain questions me, his voice becoming more serious than before.

  “No. It’s just….he’s….seeing him brings back so many memories, Blain. I thought I was over it all, I mean it’s been over a year, but it’s like I can still hear all those people talking about me. I’m just so messed up right now. Gah, I hate feeling like this!” I look down at the hem of my shorts and begin to pick at the seam, fighting back the tears.

  Blain sighs and his voice softens as he says, “Hey, don’t cry. You just have to take it one day at a time. Things will get easier. And you still have Jeff, right? You haven’t broken up, have you?” he asks, his voice one of concern.

  “Oh, no,” I sniffle. “We’re fine, but he’s still working long hours at the restaurant so we can’t see each other very often,” I pause, “and he doesn’t call very often.”

  “That’s not everything,” Blain states. “Go on.”

  “How do you do that?” I ask, dumbfounded that he knew I was holding something back.

  “Do I need to remind you just how long we have been friends, Xana? Now, go on,” he commands me, and I have no choice but to spill everything.

  I tell him about Noel, and Jeff, and my classes. We talk about everything, and I hold nothing back. It was such a relief to say those things out loud.

  “Now,” he says, and clears his throat before continuing, “you’re going to finish out this week, and after classes on Friday, you’re gonna take a nap, and be ready at eight so I can pick you up.”

  “What are you saying? You’re coming here?? You can’t come here just for me, Blain. Don’t you have a game or something?” I ask him, and sit up straighter.

  Blain laughs into the phone and says, “You heard me, Shortcake. I’m coming for a visit. I don’t have a game this weekend, and Coach is giving us Saturday off since we’ve been practicing every day for two weeks. I’ll leave after practice on Friday. We’re going out, so be ready by eight. No arguments.”

  “Okay,” I release the breath I was holding into the phone. “I know not to argue with you. I’m really glad you’re coming down here to see me. Thanks,” I whisper.

  “I’ve got you, Xana. Don’t forget that. Besides, I need to scout out the new freshmen and see if there’s one or two I like.” I giggle at that thought. As long as I’ve known him, he’s never really been one to pick random girls. He’s more the quiet type.

  “You’re a mess, but I’m glad to have my friend back after everything that has happened. I’ll see ya Friday.” I pause for a second, and lower my voice. “Thanks, Blain.”

  “I’m glad we’re okay, too. Remember, you’ve still got me, Xana. Anytime.”

  We say our goodbyes and I once again look out to the ducks on the water. They look so peaceful, gliding over the calm water. It makes me wish I was a duck who floated on the water all day long. I laugh to myself at that thought and glance at my watch. It’s almost seven, so I gather my books, and head over to the cafeteria for dinner. I hope my room will be empty by the time I finish eating. Finding a seat with a few people from band, I sit down and eat while I listen to their conversations.

  At least I have something to look forward to this weekend.

  Mallory made it through bowling like a pro. She wasn’t intimidated by Stacy’s aggressiveness, either. I suppose having twin older brothers will help with that. Stacy had a few classes with Mallory, and she’s been hanging out with us more and more. She fits in really well, and is very easy to talk to. We’ve all hung out a lot as a group, but it’s still not the same without Xana.

  Over the last two months since we all went bowling, Mallory and I have become pretty close. She has a boyfriend, Keaton, back in Texas who plays football at a college there, and they’re making the long distance thing work for them. I’m not sure how she does it. Xana and I weren’t even together last year, and being away from her nearly broke me. And we were only forty-five minutes apart, unlike Mallory and Keaton, who are five hours apart.

  Mallory knows almost everything about me and Xana. What I did. What we said to each other. What I want for us now. Stacy and Cade are very supportive of me and Xana, but I have to admit it’s been nice to have someone else to talk about Xana with who is neutral. I hate putting them in the middle of our mess, even though they don’t seem to have a problem with it.

  Homecoming is next weekend, and Mallory and I have decided to go together, just as friends. Her boyfriend can’t come down for it because he has a game that same day, and I don’t want to go with some random girl just because Xana isn’t my date. Not to mention I don’t the guys trying to set me up. It wouldn’t feel right.

  In all honesty, Mal and I are only going together to keep unwanted proposals away. I now clearly understand just what Xana and Blain’s relationship meant for her; how they could be so close to each other and not be anything other than friends. I know now that he was just confused about their relationship. Deep down, I knew it then, but I let my feelings for her get caught up in a bunch of manipulation and lies. I reacted first, badly, not thinking about what I knew to be true until things were said that I’ll never forgive myself for.

  It’s Tuesday night and Stacy and Mallory are in our room watching television. We’ve all done what homework we needed to get done and a
re just relaxing and hanging out. They both tried to persuade Xana to come over as well, but of course she refused. Stacy says she hardly leaves their room, unless it’s for class or the library. Cade and I having practice later in the afternoons and eating dinner at different times still doesn’t let us see her in the cafeteria. I have to wonder if she is even eating like she should.

  “What movie do you want to watch now?” Cade asks as he removes the DVD we just watched and places it back in the case.

  “What are my options?” Mallory asks as she gets another bottle of water out of my fridge.

  Cade looks through our collection of DVD’s and hands her a few to chose from. Stacy and Mallory argue over which ones to watch until Cade gets tired of the back and forth and chooses for them.

  “You’re lucky I like you, hotstuff,” Stacy proclaims as she gives him a very fake scowl that makes us laugh.

  “You know you more than like me. Now sit back down so we can watch this one.” Cade and I laugh as he pushes her back onto his bed so he can put the DVD in the player to play.

  “You think we should try and see if Xana wants to come over now? Maybe she’s gotten all of her studying and stuff done by now and needs a break?” Mallory looks to Stacy for an answer, but she only sighs and shakes her head in disagreement.

  “No. I don’t think she’s going to change her mind. She’s pretty stubborn when she wants to be,” Stacy replies, not happy with the situation.

  “Maybe if you called her?” Mallory says to me. No matter how much I want to call her, I know that’s not the right thing to do right now.

  “No, that’s not gonna help anything. I’m the last person she’d listen to.”

  “Maybe it might help more than you think,” she tosses back at me. “You need to try sometime.” Mallory gives me one long, serious stare before turning to watch the previews as they play on the television.

  Settling back against the wall my bed is against, I think about what she said. Would calling Xana and asking her to come over really work? We haven’t been around each other much since school started, and I’m not even sure what her feelings are about me. At times I think we have a chance at moving past what happened over a year ago, but there is always something to dash that hope away. Jeff, being one of those things.